theres this kid..

..who is currently galavanting around the world, stealing blueberry bagels, sleeping on randoms couches, looking like a hobo, spending what looked like a very damn long time at hogwarts - and loooving it and just having the time of his life.. now this kid is one of the most entertaining, hilarious, random, honest, genuine dudes on the planet - so you could imagine how this makes poor little, stuck at home, got no money to jump on a plane, Hollie feel.. pretty craaap.

However, this top deck guy (blonde hair, RANGA beard.. which makes me think - what colour are his pu... yeah.) looks like he is having the most insane time, assumption gathered from all the self portraits he has taken (BEST!!) and it's so true, you really don't have a clue what you've got until its gone. You really don't know how much that thing/person means to you until you can't see it/them whenever the heck you want.. ping chat just doesn't quite cut it..

Now, I have had some moments in life that have made me say that I will never take the ones I love for granted, but really - what does that even mean? I can't possibly call everyone I love every single day, I can't send them flowers once a week and I sure as hell can't afford to buy them all gifts..

So here is my tight arse solution..
to write a blog to the ones I love..
(which let me tell you - if I've met you, or spoken to you - I love you.. even if I haven't met you, or your a dude stuck in jail for stealing bagels..) and tell them that I think they are incredible..

pointless blog, Hollie!! maybe.
take from it what you will.. but just know that you have a spot in my heart, maybe big or maybe small.. but regardless - it's a spot.. and if you weren't around - life would suck a little bit..

There we have it - another random blog, wasting precious moments of your life.. I won't lie - I don't really care, because know you know how I feel about you.. unless you haven't read this. crap. didn't think about that one..

plan b.

How on earth has it been this long!!?

I am hopeless at this!! blogging, fail!!

So just randomly, Thursday is nearly here.. which means it has been 4 years since one of the most stunning little ladies left us.. what an unexplainably crap day!! But at the same time.. it makes me think about how ridiculously lucky I am that all of those around me didn't stop functioning during that time too.. because then there would be some real problems.. I miss her every single day, and ask for a good reason every single day.. but until a good answer comes my way I think it will keep hurting like a mother B..

On a lighter note Alexis Mary Crowden and Rebecca Louise Shaw Hallett are getting married!! YEEEEE.

Such good times to come!!

Such great times!!

Two absolutely stunning people, who mean so much to me found little lovers (ew/woohoooo!!) So just a shout out to those little lovers - hurt my ladies and you will be in oh so much trouble..

That's all for now.

Over and out.
xx

the little rang

the 10th of August!!?
Was that really the last time I did a blog?
Well then, I'm slightly impressed with myself! I thought blogging would become an addiction of mine. Like the sight of Derek Shepherd.. completely addicted to the view..

Today is Sunday, tonight is Sunday too.. Tomorrow is Monday - I hate Monday.. and I could go on to talk about how I want to change my view on Mondays, and love every day as they come.. but we all know that no one loves a Monday, so why bother. Instead I am going to tell you about this girl. This weird, stunning, unique, amazing girl..

She has red hair. She is very sweet. She also has matching red eyes - however is not the devil. She has been my best friend for a great littleish while.. I love her and even loved her even when she looked slightly like a boy with a red afro. I love her so much.

You see this little lady has been through A LOT with me. She has seen me cry, she has made me laugh, she has filmed me dancing, she has let me film HER dancing, she has seen my excessive amounts of body hair and is still friends with me, she was around for the worst moment of my life.. and these few little moments just sum up how much she means to me really..

Honestly, I don't really know where I would be without her. and yes. What a lame blog. I really could have just written her a letter.. but this is a great excuse for a blog.. and nothing else is really on my mind other than trying to preoccupy so that I don't have a mental breakdown after watching Grey's again, I don't know why I do this to myself!!

Anyway, Hannah Mary. It's in writing that your the greatest friend in all the land. and one day you will have to suck it up when I pick a hideous bridesmaid dress for you to wear. :D I love you to pieces.

If your still reading this and you are not Hannah, I'm very sorry that you will not get those few minutes of your life back.. I won't either, so we'll call it even.. :)

Have a bearable Monday.
H xx

pros or cons..

pretty much to sum up my day.. I had a flippen good one!!

and at the end of it.. I even scored a moment or two to sit down and think about it.. a very rare occurence..

amongst all these thoughts I stumbled accross one that didn't sit too well.. and so to rectify it, I need to share.. you see I realised tonight that I actually base quite allot of my lifes decisions based on the 'cons' of the matter..

sometimes this is a good thing, but only for others, as I am the kind of girl who hates nothing more than upsetting another person.. however I came to realise that sometimes I'm allowed to do things for me..

I realised that I let a silly little 'con' out do all the huge 'pros' of a matter.. and for a paticular little life adventure I am about to venture into, I'm going to make my decisions with a pro focus because I know it will better me AND eventually everyone involved..

so thats all..
x

so. I have a question.. what the heck happens to those kids in kinder who don't know what the heck they want to be when their older? They have no 3 year old urge to be a doctor, no calling to be a fireman or a police man or a garbo.. and then what happens to the dude that gets to year 10 and still has no idea.. and worse yet, year 12 and STILL no idea.. or.. even WORSE those ones who leave school, go to uni, do something that they hate.. works jobs that are going nowhere and STILL don't know what they want to do!?

Those kids who know that life isn't always supposed to be fun and laughter, they know that they will have to work one day.. but who will not accept the fact that they are just going to have to work a job.. because they want to work a job that they LOVE.. because they want to get up in the morning and not hate the thought of the week, day, hour before them..

Just plodding along for no good reason just doesn't quite cut it. Working for $ just doesn't do it. Doing the same thing day after day with no great outcome for the world around, having that feeling of exhaustion but not putting that energy into something truly worth while?! really? is that how it goes.. I'm going to say no.. that poor confused kid..

I hate being that kid.

Let's change that kid.

mm.

friends are hard to come by.

the friends that take those few moments to give you a call.
the friends that ask how you are, and care.
the ones who just want to come over and watch movies with you.
the odd few that don't mind being makeupless around you.
the ones who think of you when they're bored.
I like those friends.
I need those friends..

actually, they're very hard to come by..

titleless

I was asked today "How has God revealed himself to you?" to which my initial response (in my mind) was *lame question! next.* until i thought about it..

Seriously, when the heck has He?..

Thinking. Thinking.. my mind went back to Bec. as it more often than not does.. and I realised that God revealed himself through that agonisingly, heartbreaking moment in life..

Losing a friend, not through the laziness of not picking up a phone and calling them for months.. but forever, is not something I would ever, ever wish upon anyone. I turned into an emotionless, lifeless zombie for about 2 even 3 years.. and those years are still an absolute blur..

It was only until one particular night that I was smashed in the face by this absolutely unexplainable feeling of love that I realised there was someone out there who knew how I felt. who wanted to sit down and chat with me about it, and not interrupt with their opinion or their memories or their experience. someone who genuinely cared for my wellbeing and heart..

It was God. and it was insane.

This little 'revelation' of mine in no way shape or form justifies loosing Bec. but never the less it is comforting to find something positive finally come out of it. whether that be something this small or for someone else, something much bigger..

It's all a little crazy really..